#there was going to be a later part for notes but it would be around the later days so... cant reallt happen

[hisui555]

I was 14 when I got my wise teeth removed, the whole thing was a clusterfuck rollercoaster of absurdity. First of all it started with the doc wanting me to take a betadine shower and THEN go to school while looking as if I ruled Hell, to say nothing about the trouble I'd get for not eating at the cafeteria since I was supposed to be fasting. I just stayed at home the whole morning, looking like a tomato. A foul one - my hair is brown, not green, and I have the stinking temper to match.

Then I arrived at the clinic, and the trouble went further when the guy planting the IV in stabbed me repeatidly and directly in the nerves - 10 times over, five each side of the vein. How do I know ? My wrist had a knee-jerk unvoluntary reaction everytime and he went "Oh, sorry, I hit the nerve." like it was just the most bewildering thing ever and nerves shouldn't be in a human body. I just ended up contracting my muscles to make the veins pop so he could finally get at least ONE - that guy wouldn't be able to hit a cow's arse with a banjo.

Then the fun kept piling up, because by the anaesthesia, they told me to count up to 10, expecting me to be under by 6 or 7. I was up to 15 when the anaesthesic dude looked at me weird, doubled the dose, and I decided to fall asleep to help the process go along because I wanted it over with - sensation also isn't the best : it's like someone's pulling you by the hair backwards to fall headfirst. I know my last conscious thought was "oh hey, maybe that's what babies feel when they're born and pulled out, hence why we're instantly awake when feeling that while asleep. It's like the 'kick' to wake up in Inception." and I don't remember dreaming during the processus afterwards.

Then I woke up, and by waking up I mean getting jolted from slumber by the nurse ripping out the breathing tube from my nose with all the patience, grace and mercy of an excavating bulldozer. I'm already a snap-awake person with immediate lucidity when waking up from normal sleep, so I was sadly VERY AWARE of the pain and my environment - the nurse was very surprised to find me immediately sitting up, look around, nod at the "You're in the wake-up waiting room" banner above, and shoot her a glare while rubbing my nose. She didn't ask me the "are you okay what's your name" questions, funnily enough, unlike the others - I think we both knew the answer to "How are you feeling" was "mighty pissed off."

The positive in that was that I was the first awake, or at least lucid, and I could see the others emerge - apparently they didn't had the same luck of being insta-awake, and this is where I could witness that consciousness was more of a spectrum in others than the binary it is for me. Best part was when I waved to one guy next to me, who also got his wise teeth pulled out, and he apparently decided it was too weird for him, because he went right back down to sleep.

THEN the worst started : I was driven to my room, got onto the bed, and someone asked me what I wanted for breakfast tomorrow. I wordlessly pointed at my cheeks, beginning to swell and changing colors, and the woman nodded in understanding. "Okay, not chewy stuff, got it." (the morning after, it was hardass cereals and bread croutons). One doctor came up to me and told me the IV would stay for the night, in case complications happened - okay, no problem, sounds fair. Cue another one entering five minutes later and pulling it out, congratulating me that, unlike my teen Wise-Tooth-Hell peers, I didn't ripped it out myself. I remember thinking something along the lines of "?????"

Then they gave me cortisone to help with the pain and swelling or whatever, and an ice-pack, telling me the button to call for help was over there, okay, noted... 15 minutes later I had to rush to the sink to barf very fine powdered black sand up - it was the cortisone. I check the meds box : they gave me a dose for adults, while I was 14, 1m50, around 45-50kg. I decided to not use the emergency button EVER lest these clowns rub aloe vera on my feet to "help" me with an upset stomach or a dental infection and ask where the IV went, like a bunch of double-taking goldfish having no clue what their neighbor is doing.

THEN the pain hit, and I spent my night sleeping 3 hours total, 10 minutes by 10 minutes. Tom&Jerry was on a rerun on TV, but past two in the morning it was me, myself and OW. I got picked up by my mom looking like a hamster with cheeks drenched in blueberry juice and stuck in barbed wire, she asked if I didn't wanted to stay another night because I didn't look that good, but since things were already ten shades of wrong I just proved I was feeling very, very fine with not staying one more second in there by doing a cartwheel, and we racked off the fastest possible.

Think it's the end ? Nnnnope ! 'Cause the swelling didn't die down for three whole weeks, I went by all the colors of the rainbow in terms of bruises, and the doctor gave me a mouthwash to use for said 3 weeks... when the notice specified in bold letters to not use more than 1 week, max, because of how strong it was. Results ? Dental enamel took quite a bad hit. We went back and pointed this out, to which he replied with another mouthwash... stronger than the previous and to not be used for more than 3 consecutive DAYS. Oh and also I just pulled out the stitches myself, because they came loose on day 4 after I was out of the hospital.

So somehow, I wanna give that person shoving an entire fist in their mouth and then bawling afterwards (good thing they didn't damage anything) for 20 minutes a very sympathetic pat.

We sharing anaesthetic stories?? I had to have dental surgery when i was in middle school.

According to my mom and sister the very first thing i did upon waking up was BOLT upright and proceed to try and shove my ENTIRE fist in my mouth as fast as possible.

I had to be physically stopped, and i proceeded to sob my eyes out for the next 20 minutes. Somehow, i didnt damage anything 🤣

sorry that imagery is so vivid i just..

?????LOL

[afloweroutofstone]

Before "The Blair Witch Project" properly introduced mainstream audiences to found footage horror in 1999, people were unfamiliar with the idea of a movie made to seem as though it was not a movie. No musical score, no introductory credits, unstable shots that seemed realistic to how early handheld cameras worked at the time— all of this gave viewers the impression that what they were watching was real, actual footage.

Like HG Wells' radio broadcast announcing an alien invasion, the found footage horror subgenre's playfulness with the boundaries between fact and fiction got it in a lot of trouble. Many of these incidents have been obscured by years of rumor and urban legend, but there are at least three examples of pre-1999 found footage horror fooling audiences.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)— the infamous found footage mockumentary about a film crew being captured and killed deep inside of the Amazon— was the first to experience this issue. Though the extent of the inquiry has been exaggerated over time, there is generally believed to have been some form of investigation by Italian authorities into whether Cannibal Holocaust was a real snuff film.

Guinea Pig 2: A Flower of Flesh and Blood (1985) had something similar happen several years later. A particularly gruesome Japanese slasher filmed from the perspective of the killer, this movie circulated amongst VHS traders until it eventually reached actor Charlie Sheen, who alerted the FBI under the belief that it was real. The FBI took it seriously until they found a making-of documentary which detailed how Guinea Pig 2 did its gore effects.

My favorite example is Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County* (1998), which depicts an alien abduction in rural Montana. When the film was aired on TV, most viewers only tuned in after the opening credits that made clear Alien Abduction was a fictional movie. Many early internet users came together to discuss their experiences seeing something on TV late at night which displayed a disturbing, seemingly realistic alien encounter, and none of them knew what it was or where it came from. People started reaching out to Montana law enforcement for more details only to be told that no one with the main character's name had ever lived in Lake County, Montana. A TV station in New Zealand even reported that the movie's legitimacy was "a topic of dispute."

Now that most people know about found footage horror, the same type of hoax is far more difficult to pull off. A few more recent entries in the subgenre take this dynamic to an even deeper level of meta-narrative: the plot of Butterfly Kisses (2018) revolves around the idea that, because the public has grown accustomed to these types of fictional found footage hoaxes, no one would seriously believe a genuine piece of found footage horror were one to emerge. If something truly inexplicable were caught on film by an amateur, everyone would just assume that it's part of a marketing campaign for some new film coming soon to theaters.

But I think the events of the last few years have made it clear that there's still lots of unexplored territory for found footage mindfuckery. Why not set up TikTok and IG accounts for fictional characters (like what Cloverfield did with Myspace), have actors run them as normal accounts for a year or two, gradually start introducing weird and inexplicable details to their videos that are minor enough to be dismissed as coincidence or fluke, build tension until a climax in the form of an elaborate livestreamed hoax, and then create deepfake news coverage of the event that looks like it's coming from a real local news station. If we're going to have a general collapse in the public's ability to distinguish fact from fiction, we should at least have some fun with it.

Side note:

*Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County is often confused with an earlier version of the film released in 1989 called The McPherson Tape. Even though Alien Abduction was just a remake of the equally-fictional The McPherson Tape, rumors continued to swirl after Alien Abduction's debunking that it was a reenactment of a real abduction supposedly captured in the "raw footage" of The McPherson Tape. You can probably still find a few UFO people who believe this, even though the original The McPherson Tape is now available online and uses cheap amateur film-making effects that are easy to spot for modern audiences.

[starsinthesky5]

hear me out now stay with me…

songbird sending Joe flowers after a win when she's away!!! HELLO!! like she would plan the whole thing with her team and send the biggest bouquet in the shape of a 9 in the bengals colors to the dressing room with cute notes and she would refer to herself w something new every time like “ur No.1 fan” “ur favorite artist” and some times she might gift the team some too cause Joe told her they got jealous but still keeps his bigger and special I CAN NOT I LOVE THEM SM

───────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────

she hated missing games. especially ones like this—cold-weather, high-stakes, statement wins that got everyone buzzing the next morning. she watched from a makeshift studio in london, still in her pajamas, wrapped in a blanket with her hair in a claw clip and headphones slung around her neck, half-hyperventilating in front of her phone screen while her producer and best friend, jack, sat beside her, laughing every time she yelled at the TV. she couldn’t be there in person, but god, she was with him in spirit—heart thumping with every throw, hands clasped like she was in prayer whenever he stepped into the pocket. and when he won? she damn near sobbed. face pressed into a throw pillow, relief and pride bubbling out of her in a dizzy little giggle.

and she knew exactly what she was gonna do next.

it became tradition, really. whenever she couldn’t make it to a game, whether she was shooting something, at the studio, overseas, she made sure joe felt her there the next day. her team knew the drill. call the florist, triple-check the colors (orange, black, white—no substitutions), and make the biggest bouquet they could in the shape of a number 9. it always came with a handwritten card (yes, handwritten, even if she had to sign it over facetime), and she always signed it with something new.

“from you no.1 fan.”

“love, you favorite artist xx.”

“proud of you always, qb.”

sometimes she’d send smaller bouquets for the team, too—little arrangements with cheeky messages like “good blocking = happy quarterback and happy quarterback’s girl,” or “WR1s deserve flowers too.” joe had told her once, sheepish and amused, that the guys were jealous the first time she sent one just for him. she’d immediately added extras to her routine. but his? his was always the biggest. always the one with something special hidden in the note—an inside joke, a pet name, a lyric from one of her unreleased songs she knew would make him smile.

and he loved it. he tried to act cool about it, but the truth was he grinned like an idiot every time. joe loved receiving flowers, and was especially ecstatic if they came from his girl. he took pictures with it in the locker room, sent her selfies holding them like a trophy, texted her you’re ridiculous with way too many heart emojis. it wasn’t just the flowers—it was the fact that she always found a way to show up for him, no matter where she was. to remind him she was watching, cheering, loving him from a continent away.

and when he finally called her later that night, post-game glow still fresh on his face, he held the bouquet up to the screen and said, “you didn’t have to go this hard,”.

she just smiled, sleepy and proud, and whispered, “yes i did,”.

because she knew how hard he worked. she knew what these wins meant.

and more than anything. she wanted to be part of them, always.

[mountttmase]

When You Know - Part 3

Note - I think I’m starting to blur the lines between fic and blurb as these are getting longer each time 😭 please don’t hate our baby too much even though he deserves it 😭 feedback is appreciated as always 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 3.6k

Warnings - Angst

If there was one thing you wished you hadn't done that first night you were home with Freddie was sit on your phone and look through instagram for a bit once Freddie had been fed and you’d caught up with everything you needed to.

Ignorance is bliss they always say.

He’d told you he was going to an event. That Benny had set it up and he couldn’t back out but as you flicked through everyone’s stories from the day you felt your heart stop as you clicked on ones from a girl you used to work with.

It was fairly obvious to you it was him, the same t-shirt he’d come to pick you up in and those shorts were a Christmas present you’d gifted him just nine months ago when everything seemed so different.

You weren’t really friends with the girl anymore, losing contact after you quit your job for a better opportunity but you’d seen her on nights out before and she had always seemed interested about yours and Mason’s relationship. Now you probably knew why as she’d had the eyes for him but you never figured he’d want the same.

The thought of looking at another man was not something that was in the agenda for you right now and if you were being honest with yourself you weren’t sure if ever would be. You were still unbelievably hurt by everything that had gone down between you and Mason, living in denial for the most part and believing that this would all be over soon and he’d come back to you but this was a kick in the teeth. Seeing him with other girls wasn’t something you’d thought about happening as everything still felt so fresh but there he was and you didn’t know what to do about it.

You knew it was him before you opened it, this weird feeling in your gut whenever he messaged and whilst the sight of his name lighting up your phone used to fill you with butterflies, now it was only dread.

His wording frustrated you, knowing It’s not that he didn’t want to cause a bother, he just didn’t want to be there if either yours or his families were around as he knew both sets of parents were mad at him and it would be easier for him to just avoid everyone.

Thankfully, you had the morning to yourself as everyone was planning on coming over in the afternoon to give you some time to settle in and whilst you were looking forward to some alone time with your little squish, Mason was Freddie’s father and you weren’t about to deny him time with his son.

So you told him you were free until two and he promised he’d be over shortly. You didn’t bother tidying up or making yourself look presentable as you knew it didn’t matter and when there was a knock on your door 15 minutes later, you let him in with a stoic look.

‘Hey’ he smiled, clearly not picking up on any awkwardness on your end so you just nodded him in and shut the door behind him. Leading him into the living room where he was straight over to Freddie so he could pick him up and hold him to his chest.

You wanted to scream your lungs out. To cuss him out for not caring about Freddie at all last night and putting his own needs over his two day old sons but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Instead taking a different route to let him know you knew what he’d been up to and to hopefully make him sweat a bit.

‘So how was your event last night?’ You asked him after you’d gotten him some water and set it down on the coffee table.

‘Oh yeah, it was good thanks’ he smiled, his face not giving anything away as he lied through his teeth and you knew you’d have to keep pushing him.

‘Yeah? What was it for again?’

‘Some new game that’s coming out’

‘Oh really? Sounds like a big deal’ you nodded as he shrugged but you didn’t give him the satisfaction of telling you anymore lies. ‘Not something I would have worn shorts to but hey, that’s your decision. The pizza looked good though’ you nodded and you saw his face drop instantly as he clocked on that you’d figured him out. ‘I can’t believe they’d hold a gaming event at Maya’s house too, that seems super impractical’

‘Y/n I can explain-’

‘What’s to explain? You lied and spent the first night your first child was at home with another woman’ you shrugged sarcastically, getting more and more agitated as he tried to argue with you about it.

‘But-’

‘The first night, your first child was home, Mason’ you practically growled at him through gritted teeth as your eyes filled with tears, no longer willing to hide how you were feeling behind jokes. ‘How could you do that to him?’

‘Oh give over, it’s not like he even knows what planet he’s on right now let alone if I was here or not’ he scoffed and you couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

‘But you did know, that’s the point. Things are different now, you can’t just do what you want all the time you need to have different priorities’

‘I didn’t come here for a lecture on how to live my life. You don’t get to decide that anymore’

‘I never did! You’ve always done things your way, that’s why we’re in this mess right now’

‘I think you need to calm down’

‘Yeah well I think you need to leave’ you told him, standing up so you could walk him out be he still sat there with Freddie asleep on him. ‘I’ll sort a schedule out and and we’ll go from there’

‘No, I won’t-‘

You cut Mason off with a loud gasp. Your hands flying to your tummy as a large shooting pain traveled through you and knocked the wind out of you and you didn’t know what to do next. Turning away from him so he didn’t get the satisfaction of looking at you in pain but the words that came out of his mouth sounded soft and sincere.

‘Are you okay? What’s wrong?’

‘Oh like you give a shit’ you spoke through gritted teeth, not in the mood for him suddenly to be a nice person. ‘I’m fine, just go’ you whimpered.

‘No, I’m here now and I want to see my boy. You’re obviously in pain so why don’t you go and lay down and I’ll look after him for a bit’ he offered and you knew you needed to say yes. You were exhausted and even though you were furious you didn't want to stop Mason from seeing his son, so without another word to him you left the room and popped upstairs to have a lie down.

You obviously needed a nap as you were practically asleep as soon as your head touched the pillow for well over an hour. Waking up to a cold bottle of water and a packet of your favourite biscuits on your bedside table as well as some painkillers but there was no time to sit and think about any nice gestures as the noise from downstairs had your attention straight away.

The sound of Freddie’s cries always made your tummy twist, but you also knew it was a sound you would have to get used to. His wailes echoing through the house and you got up as quickly as your body would let you to make your way downstairs, finding Mason doing laps of your living room as he tried to comfort Freddie who was balled up on his chest.

‘He won’t stop’ he gulped as his eyes caught yours. ‘I’ve changed his nappy so it’s definitely not that, I don’t know what else-’

‘He’s probably hungry’ you told him flatly. ‘I’ll go and grab his bottle’

Mason nodded to the sofa as you came back in and you could see he was getting ready to transfer Freddie over to you so you got comfortable before taking him in your arms. Settling him down so he was nice and comfy before you popped the lid to feed him. His cries stopped instantly and you could feel Mason relax as well as he hovered next to you just by the arm of the chair. Eventually kneeling next to the sofa so he could look at Freddie but you could see there was still a cloud of worry all over his face.

‘I didn’t think about him being hungry, how stupid am I?’ He chuckled, eventually leaning his elbow on the arm so he could get a better look at him and for the next five minutes you sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence as you watched him feed.

‘I’ll get out of your hair now, if you want’ he told you quietly but all you could do was shrug. Not liking the way he would constantly use the excuse of being in the way as a reason to be apart from the pair of you but you needed to get used to figuring out how to do things on your own so you just nodded and kept your eyes on Freddie.

You almost let out a smile when Mason pressed his lips to the crown of Freddie’s head, but when he did the same to you, you froze in shock. Your tear filled eyes following him out the room and only when you heard the door shut behind him did you take a shaky breath out.

This was proving to be a lot harder than you anticipated and it was only the first day. Your expectations that Mason might pull himself together for his son were out the window and as the months dragged on he only got worse.

You had Freddie every night and that’s how you’d agreed for it to go from the start with his job, but Freddie was three months old the first time he took him for a few hours on his own. You wondered if he was just nervous and unsure of how to look after him but you had been the same in the beginning and you’d powered through it.

The fact he did so little made you appreciate the things he did do but when you finally cottoned on to the way he wasn’t putting effort in you felt that same resentment return. Thankfully both sets of grandparents were angels and as the weeks went by you saw more of Debbie than you ever did of Mason. You didn’t mind though as she seemed to be the only person you could really speak to about your frustrations with him as she had the exact same ones and it felt good to be heard and understood.

As the weeks went on you felt more and more like a single parent. Freddie’s big milestones you celebrated just the two of you and as he grew before your eyes you revelled in the fact you really did have a little best friend for life and no matter what the future held.

It was in the rare occasions that Mason did have Freddie you felt the worst. You never wanted this and you most definitely never wanted this for Freddie either as your dream was always to have him grow up in a happy and stable home with both parents who loved him and each other more than anything. But when he was gone you felt like you were missing a part of yourself and you spent your time going through the motions until he was back to give your life purpose.

In all the years you’d known Mason, you’d never known him to be as flakey as he was starting to be. Plans made to look after Freddie fell through more times than they happened and you were just thankful Freddie didn’t understand how much his dad was letting him down.

Freddie was nine months old when it came to a head. It was the morning the first time Mason was going to take him for a few days back home to Portsmouth and you were sat in the living room with his little bag packed alongside yours as you’d booked yourself a little staycation as a distraction from being away from him.

Mason should have been arriving in just under an hour and you were sat in the sofa having a nonsensical chat with Freddie when you felt your phone buzz.

‘I’m so sorry, baby’ you whispered as you picked Freddie back up and held him to your chest. ‘It doesn’t matter though, you can come with me on my trip, okay? We’ll go to the seaside and play on the beach and I’ll win you a toy on the pier’ you giggled, trying to laugh through your tears as you were so upset for him. ‘It doesn’t matter that he can’t have you cause I’ll give you everything you need, poppet. I always will’

The good thing was he was all packed already so you got everything in the car and got on the road. It took a little longer now Freddie was with you as you had to make extra stops but you made it to your little home for the week in good time and after a quick run to do the food shop you were eating dinner with him on your lap as you watched the sun set into the sea.

You didn’t hear from Mason at all during your week and you weren’t sure if you were happy or annoyed about it, but in the moment you didn’t didn’t let it bring you down. Doing everything you told Freddie you would do by spending your days on the beach and taking him for a swim before playing on the sand. Thinking Mason going away was actually a blessing in disguise as you knew you were having way more fun with Freddie here than you ever would have had alone and and after a few days you felt even more energised.

The last full day of your trip the pair of you decided on a lie in. Freddie was curled up in a ball with his head on your shoulder as you flicked through the usual apps on your phone but as you made it to instagram you noticed you had way more messages than usual.

You didn’t know what it was, but you knew in soul that something wasn’t right and you’d felt it all morning so when you noticed al the messages in your inbox you knew it wasn’t something good.

It was a regular thing when you and Mason were together for people to send you articles about him and even more so when you’d split up and it wasn’t public yet but it had been a few months since the last one. Mason was always out on the weekends and linked with different people but you’d become numb to the whole situation and didn’t want to read them anymore.

This morning was different though and as you clicked through the random messages you saw they were all sending you the same link. Eventually clicking on one to see what the fuss was all about but once you had you wished you had the power to go back in time and delete it from your memory.

That same sticky uncomfortable feeling washed over you like it always did when you had to read something like this. Waves of heat rippling through you as your heart thudded uncontrollably and you wished you’d just ignored your phone completely today.

You didn’t know what to think, he wasn’t your problem anymore but the fact he’d skipped out on a week with his son for a week in Italy to seemily shag every girl in sight made your heart break for your son. You would drop any plans and do whatever you needed to do to be there for him but his dad didn’t play by the same rules.

As much as you told yourself it didn’t matter and he was free to see who he wanted it still stung. The thought of even looking at another man was off the cards for you but clearly the same didn’t apply to him and it seemed to be the final nail in the coffin for you. You had way more respect for yourself than he clearly did and if this is how he wanted to play it then you’d finally wash your hands with him.

So you did what you always did. Dragged yourself out of your pit of misery and poured your focus into your boy in hopes he’d never feel an ounce of hurt like you currently were.

The salty sea air felt warm as it brushed against your skin, making the hairs on your arms stand up on end as the sun bore down on you and as you felt yourself begin to warm up, you covered Freddie up a little more so he was shielded from the light.

He was currently sat on your lap with his head on your chest, his little arms and legs either side of you with his front pressed to yours as he snoozed away peacefully and your need to protect him from everyone and everything was swimming through your veins as you thought over everything that had happened this morning.

When your phone started buzzing you knew it was him without even looking. Your eyes glancing down to see his name filling your screen as he tried to call you but you just let it ring off as you were in no mood to talk to him. That didn’t stop him though and you sat for a good 20 minutes as he called and called and called but you held your ground and ignored him even though you wanted to answer and tear him a new one.

He eventually stopped, a brief 20 minutes of relief as your phone remained silent but when it went off again you couldn’t help but look to see if it was him. You were met with something different this time though, a sweet picture of Freddie as a tiny baby laid in Debbie’s arms with her name flashing above it and even though you really weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone you knew you couldn’t ignore her.

‘Hiya love, everything okay?’ She asked, her voice just as warm and comforting as usual and as far as you could tell she didn’t sound off at all making you think she had no idea about your whole morning's ordeal.

‘Hey Debbie, yeah fine thanks. You?’

‘Yeah all good here’ she grinned but the beat of silence just after made you stiffen in worry. ‘Listen, Mason just called me. He’s been trying to get a hold of you all morning but he can’t get through?’

‘Oh yeah… um’ you croaked. Rolling your eyes just after as you were so annoyed with yourself for not holding together for longer but she’d heard you upset now and there was nothing you could do about it.

‘Y/n? What’s wrong hun?’

‘Sorry’ you blubbed, no longer caring about holding it together. ‘Mason was meant to have Freddie for a few days and I booked myself a little get away but he cancelled the morning he was meant to pick him up and I’ve brought Freddie with me. I guess just after that article this morning I-‘

‘What article?’ She questioned and you almost laughed that he’s obviously forgotten to tell her that crucial but of information when he’s called her up just before.

‘Just search his name, you’ll see’ it you laughed and you could just about hear her sigh on the other end.

‘Where are you?’

‘Isle of wight’ you laughed. ‘Sorry I know it’s super close, I was actually planning on dropping in with Freddie on the way home tomorrow if you were around?’

‘Of course I am, just get here whenever you like okay? I’ll make lunch for you both’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, thankful that you had someone like her in your life and after a quick chat she let you go. Clearly eager to call Mason back after she’d looked him up and you felt a slight sense of achievement knowing he was about to get told off.

You had a quiet night in for your last night. Packing up all your things after you’d put Freddie down for the night with his little stuffed crab you’d won him on the claw machine and even though this week hadn't been what you’d planned you wouldn’t change it for the world. There was the small issue of Mason but you decided to put that to the back of your mind until you pulled up outside his parents house around 11am the next day.

Tony was first to greet you and after a quick hug he’d taken Freddie off and inside for some playtime but as soon as you clocked eyes with Debbie your felt your walls crumble.

‘You’re okay’ she whispered into your hair as she held you. Her sympathetic voice only upset you more and as your quiet sobs shook through your whole body it hit you that this was Mason's mum and you know you should be putting on a brave face for her. She had always treated you like her own though and you knew she cared for you so as she pulled you inside you forgot everything and let yourself finally feel everything you’d been holding on for months.

y/n

liked by masonmount, lulu546, ellie_xo and others

y/n When life gives you lemons 🍋

view more comments

lulu546 the sweetest lemon I ever did see 🥹 I just wanna eat him up

y/n how I haven’t taken a bite out of him yet I’ll never know

debbiemount60 what a gorgeous little man 🥺 can’t wait to see you both tomorrow!

y/n us too! Freddie is so excited to see everyone 🩷

lew.mount I hope he’s in the mood for uncle cuddles 🥰

y/n he always is! But I’ll take one too if you’re offering 😂

[inseobts]

Pretty please could I request a scenario/imagine with Ace where the reader is from Drum Island and lost someone or something during Blackbeards raid and the reader swore vengeance vengeance on the guy.

So when she's tracking Blackbeard down, she keeps running into Ace and it grows into a friendly rivalry to see who's gonna get Blackbeard first and they compare notes and information

How this all ends on Banaro id leave up to you, I'm not pressed on a happy or angsty ending and I'd like to see your spin on this! I like your writing a lot.

Chasing Fire and Shadows

portgas d. ace x fem!reader

a/n: the islands I name are random tho lmao loved writing this so much btw

words count: 4.6k

tags: slow burn, enemies to allies, shared revenge, adventure, angst/drama, light humor

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

Snow falls hard on Drum Island the night Blackbeard attacks.

You remember the fire, the screams, and the way the cold didn’t matter because rage kept you warm. Blackbeard’s crew swept through the town like wolves through a sheep pen, lighting homes, laughing through gunfire. No mercy. No reason.

Your brother had gone to help put out the flames. He never came back.

All they found was part of his coat. Burnt at the edge. Blood at the seam.

That night, in the silent wreckage of your village, you dug your hands into the snow and swore two things:

You would find Marshall D. Teach.

You would kill him yourself.

After all that.

“Vengeance won’t keep you alive.”

That’s what Dr. Kureha says the morning you tell her your plan.

You stand in the snow, fists clenched, scarf whipping in the wind “Then I’ll make sure strength does.”

Kureha narrows her eyes “Strength without control is just chaos. What are you gonna do? Run around with a kitchen knife screaming his name?”

“No,” you say “I’m going to train.”

And you do train, for months, you fight your own limits. Early mornings. Weighted runs in deep snow. Hand-to-hand combat with heavy gloves. You work under the mountain monks for endurance, under ex-hunters for reflex, and under Wapol’s leftovers for grit.

One of the monks, old and blind, says something you never forget “Pain will make you sharper, girl. But only love will keep you human.”

You don’t know how to feel about that.

Six months into your training, you find something in the wreckage of a smuggler's den near the coast. A Devil Fruit. Rotating, pale silver with jagged navy streaks, looking like a storm frozen mid-sky. You remember your breath catching, your hands shaking.

You don’t know its name. No one does.

But you eat it anyway.

It tastes like battery acid and regret.

Three days later, lightning shoots from your fingertips during a sparring match. You black out. Nearly burn down a hut. But you feel the power, deep and electric, coiled in your blood like a storm waiting for a trigger.

They start calling you the Thunderborn after that.

You learn to control it, piece by piece:

Charging your body to move faster than the eye.

Electrocuting your punches for impact.

Using static fields to sense motion behind you.

Eventually, you learn to “blink” short-range lightning jumps.

Now — Alabasta

You walk into the Nanohana bar in a sand-stained cloak, hair still carrying bits of static.

And there he is again.

Portgas D. Ace.

At the counter. Shirt open, freckles out, drinking like he owns the damn place.

He doesn’t see you at first, but you don’t say anything.

You just sit beside him and order something cheap.

Then he turns “Well, well, if it isn’t Drum Island’s sparkplug.”

You smirk “If you call me that again, I’ll fry your eyebrows off.”

Ace laughs “You’ve gotten funnier. And sparky. Did I hear lightning outside earlier?”

You sip your drink “Might’ve been me.”

“Figured. You light up when you’re mad.”

You glance sideways “Why are you always ahead of me?”

“Because I don’t stop to make dramatic entrances.”

“Jerk.”

“Aw, come on. You missed me.”

You roll your eyes “Only thing I miss is good intel. Got any?”

Ace shrugs “He’s headed west. Some say Jaya. Others say farther.”

You slam your notebook on the counter.

He lifts a brow “Still writing everything down?”

You flip through pages of hand-drawn maps, bounties, and coded rumors “Unlike you, I don’t rely on luck.”

Ace grins “I rely on fire.”

“You rely on being reckless.”

“You rely on overthinking.”

The two of you stare at each other. Then both laugh just a little.

There’s something about him you can’t hate, no matter how frustrating he is.

He taps your notebook “We should compare notes.”

You raise an eyebrow “Are we teaming up now?”

He smirks “Nah. Just wanna beat you to him fair and square.”

You lean in “Then good luck keeping up, Hothead. I’m faster now.”

Ace tilts his head “I like a challenge.”

He finishes his drink, drops some coins, and walks away, but then he pauses at the door.

“I’ll see you at the next dead end, Lightning Bug.”

“Say that again and I’ll roast you.”

He laughs and disappears into the heat.

You stare after him, heart thudding like thunder in your chest.

You're not here to cause trouble. You're just passing through Scorpio Island, a busy port with cheap food and a decent information network.

It’s humid. Loud. Smells like salted fish and sweet rice. You’ve just finished questioning a dockworker who “might’ve seen a man with a weird black beard” which isn’t helpful at all.

Then the air shifts.

You pause mid-step. Hair lifts slightly from your skin. Not from your powers but from instinct.

You’re being watched.

When you look up, Marines start stepping out from the alleys. One, two, six, then ten. Boots clinking. Guns half-drawn.

You blink.

“What…?”

The nearest officer, a man with a square jaw and too many medals, steps forward.

“Y/N, right?” he says like he already knows “You’re coming with us.”

You take a step back, palms up “I don’t want any trouble. I’m not a pirate or anything—”

He tosses something at you.

A bounty poster.

It floats through the air and lands at your feet, face-up.

Your face. Your name. Wanted: 82,000,000 Berries. Alive or dead.

“What the—?” You crouch to pick it up. Your fingers spark from the shock of touching your own damn bounty “This has to be a mistake. I didn’t do anything.”

“You took down the Captain of the Blackjaw Pirates in Loguetown. Witnesses saw lightning. Saw you.”

Your jaw drops “I wasn’t—! That was self-defense! He tried to rob a ship I was on!”

“You blew a hole in the harbor.”

You groan “He exploded first! I exploded back! It wasn’t like I was trying to—!”

“Doesn’t matter. You attacked a pirate with a bounty. You fought on public ground. That makes you a threat.”

You clench your fists. Static dances around your knuckles.

“I don’t want to fight you,” you say again, slower, sharper “I’m not your enemy.”

But they don’t listen.

They raise rifles. They step forward.

And you flinch, not from fear, but from frustration.

“DAMN it,” you mutter “Why is everyone so STUPID—”

Suddenly, there’s a gust of hot wind and a blur of orange and freckles.

“Oi” says a voice you recognize, just before your feet leave the ground.

“What the—!”

You're lifted off the street in a flash of fire, bridal style, and the world tilts.

Portgas D. Ace is grinning, even as flames flicker at his shoulders.

“She said she doesn’t want a fight,” he calls to the stunned Marines, like he’s announcing a party “So back off.”

And then he’s like flying. No, blasting forward in a burst of flame, carrying you over rooftops, streets, and screaming civilians until the port becomes a blur beneath you.

After making sure you got far enough, he sets you down gently. Too gently.

You slap his arm.

“What the hell, Ace?”

“Ow.”

“You could’ve dropped me!”

“Sure, but then I’d have to carry you again. This way saves time.”

You glare. Sparks flicker from your hands “I had that under control!”

“Yeah, I saw,” he says, flopping onto a patch of dry grass like this was a walk in the park “Totally calm. Not shouting at all.”

You kick a rock “They’re saying I’m some kind of threat now. I didn’t even mean to take that guy down! He attacked me!”

Ace lifts a brow “Big guy, metal jaw, kinda ugly?”

“That’s the one.”

“You melted his sword.”

“It was instinct!”

Ace whistles low “That’s why your bounty’s that high. Not many people take down a guy like that without trying.”

You fold your arms, seething “This is so stupid.”

Ace looks at you for a long moment “You okay?”

You sit beside him “No. I’m not. I’m not even close.”

“...You’re not gonna cry, are you?”

You shove his shoulder “I will electrocute you.”

He laughs “There she is.”

You look out toward the ocean, your anger slowly cracking “I didn’t sign up for all this. I just wanted to find Blackbeard.”

Ace’s smile fades “Yeah. Me too.”

You don’t say anything for a while. The wind brushes past, carrying sand and silence.

Finally, you ask, “So. What now?”

Ace stretches his arms behind his head “We keep chasing. And maybe next time, I’ll let you save me for a change.”

You side-eye him “...You just want to get carried.”

“I’m just saying it’s only fair.”

It’s late afternoon on Mira Island, a laid-back little place known for its wind chimes, lazy bars, and fishermen who talk too much.

You’ve been here two hours and already heard five versions of “a pirate with a black beard stole someone’s boat.”

Typical.

You’re sitting outside a bar near the water, boots up on the railing, pretending to enjoy a bland cocktail. The sun hits the sea just right, and for a second, you forget the bounty, the chase, the Marines...

"Nice poster, Sparkplug."

You freeze mid-sip. That voice again.

You lower the glass slowly and turn.

Ace stands there, grinning like always, flipping something between his fingers.

He slaps it down on your table.

Your new bounty poster.

It’s the same damn thing from Scorpio Island… but worse.

Now it says:

WANTED — Y/N Dead or Alive — 142,000,000 Berries

And the picture?

You groan “Where the hell did they even get this photo?”

Ace leans on the table, chin on hand “Looks like a surveillance shot. Pretty high quality for Marines, honestly.”

You glare “I look good in it. That’s suspicious.”

He snorts “Right? I mean, hair’s all dramatic in the wind, eyes glowing. You look like you're about to declare war on God.”

You squint at him “Did you come here to bully me?”

“Nah,” he says “Came here to drink. Saw your face first thing at the port. Figured I’d come ruin your day.”

You grab your glass “Too late, it was already ruined.”

Ace sits across from you and signals the bartender “Then let’s make it worse.”

Two drinks later you're both laughing. You’ve moved on to shots.

It turned into a challenge somewhere between the third insult and the first real smile.

You’re trying not to slur. He’s trying not to fall off his stool.

“This island’s too quiet” you mutter, pouring another.

“You’re just mad it doesn’t have Marines to shock.”

“You’re mad I can outdrink you.”

Ace points at you “That’s not true. You’re just shortcircuiting, so the alcohol hits faster.”

You gasp “Did you just insult me?”

He nods “Twice, actually. You missed the first one.”

You slam your glass down “One more round.”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

You roll your eyes “Fine. One more round… idiot.”

He grins “There it is.”

Later on, you're both quieter. Buzzed, but not spinning.

You stare out at the sea, feeling the calm before the next storm. Because there’s always another storm.

You speak first “You know… maybe we should just make it official.”

Ace lifts a brow “What?”

You look at him, serious now “An alliance. You and me. Find Blackbeard together.”

He pauses.

Then he shakes his head, just once “Can’t.”

You frown “Why not?”

“He’s dangerous.”

You sit up straighter “You think I don’t know that?”

“He killed someone I cared about.”

Your breath catches “...Same.”

Ace doesn’t look at you when he says, “I can’t risk someone else.”

You stare at him, heart suddenly heavier “So what, all this time… you were just playing nice?”

He blinks “No.”

“Then were you feeding me fake info? Sending me in the wrong direction to keep me out of it?”

His expression hardens “I don’t do that.”

You cross your arms “Really? Because it kinda feels like I’m chasing a shadow and you’re chasing the real thing.”

“I gave you everything I had. Every rumor, every tip. That’s my style. I don’t lie to people I respect.”

You scoff “Respect?”

Ace leans in a little, face calm but serious “Yeah. You’re strong. Smart. Brave. You deserve better than chasing a monster into hell.”

You meet his eyes.

“I’m already in hell beacuse of him” you say.

Ace doesn’t respond. Just looks at you for a long time.

The silence between you is sharp. Electric.

And then he says, “...I’ll see you around, Sparkplug.”

He leaves before you can say anything else.

You sit there, staring at the table, fingers twitching.

The poster flutters in the wind, your own face looking back at you.

Wanted. Alone. Again.

It’s too damn hot.

You're holed up in an abandoned fishing shack on Gulliver Island, nursing a half-broken fan and peeling off your jacket like it’s trying to kill you.

Outside, the jungle hums with heat and insects. Inside, it’s just you, a damp rag, and one tall, shirtless idiot leaning against the doorway.

“Thought you’d be gone by now” you mutter.

Ace smirks. He’s barefoot, towel slung over his shoulder, sunburnt collarbone on full display.

“I was,” he says, stepping in like he owns the floor “But then I heard about a lightning girl terrorizing a squad of Marines a few miles up the coast.”

“I didn’t terrorize them,” you snap “They cornered me. Again.”

He raises both hands “Hey, I believe you. I just figured you might need a break.”

You glare “So you brought yourself?”

He grins “Thought you’d enjoy the view.”

Your eyes flick over his bare chest before you can stop yourself “Please.”

“Caught that.”

You toss your rag at his head. He catches it with one hand and chuckles.

Later, you sit across from each other at a short wooden table. There's barely enough space for two people, and your knees touch every time one of you shifts. You blame the heat for the sweat on your neck, not the way Ace’s eyes linger too long when you lean forward.

He slides something across the table.

Your bounty poster. Again.

You groan.

“They upped it,” he says casually “You’re at 170 mil now. Guess the lightning show made an impression.”

You snatch the paper “Why do they keep using this photo?”

“You look too good in it. Makes you more dangerous.”

You shoot him a look “I’m already dangerous.”

“Oh, I know.”

His tone is low. Too low. You feel it in your spine.

You set the poster down.

“So,” he says after a beat “What now?”

You shrug “Still chasing him. Still alone.”

Ace’s fingers tap the table. His knee bumps yours again and doesn’t move.

You meet his gaze. It’s hot in here, and not just because of the island.

“You ever get tired of being on your own?” you ask, voice soft.

He doesn’t answer right away.

“I’ve got reasons” he says eventually.

“I know. You told me.” You lean in a little “Doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

Ace watches you for a long moment. There’s tension now, real and pulsing. It builds between you like a charge in the air, like your own devil fruit is reacting to something deeper.

“I don’t want to see you get hurt” he says, quietly.

You look down, then back up at him “I don’t want to see you die chasing him alone.”

Your foot brushes against his under the table. Neither of you moves this time.

You could lean in. He could close the gap.

But neither of you does.

Instead, he stands, too quickly. His hand runs through his hair, like he’s shaking off whatever just passed between you.

“I’m sleeping on the roof,” he says “Too hot in here.”

You watch him leave, jaw tight, pulse racing.

The door creaks shut behind him.

You're left alone with the heat… and a storm you’re not sure you can keep holding back.

Weeks later.

The storm rolls in fast.

One second you're arguing with a stubborn trader about a Blackbeard sighting, the next you're sprinting through sheets of rain, your jacket clinging to your skin like a second, colder version of yourself.

Lightning flashes above. Loud. Familiar. Yours, or maybe not.

You duck under a hanging sign and shake out your soaked sleeves. Behind you, heavy footsteps squish through the mud.

“I told you to wait” Ace says, breathless.

You turn, rain dripping from your hair “I told you to keep up.”

His freckles are speckled with raindrops. His hair’s a mess. He looks unfairly good for someone drenched head to toe.

“Nice weather” you mutter.

“I swear, you summon this stuff on purpose.”

You smirk “Oh? Fireboy scared of a little water?”

He gives you a look “I’m not scared. I just respect the enemy.”

“What's that even supposed to mean.”

Thunder cracks above. You flinch slightly, but Ace notices. He steps closer, that infuriating grin back on his lips.

“Shouldn’t you be used to this?”

“Not when I’m stuck in it with you.”

He gestures to a shed nearby, half-hidden behind a fruit stand “There. Shelter.”

You glance at it. Small. Barely big enough for one of you.

“Great” you deadpan.

Inside the shelter it’s even worse than expected.

Dark, creaky, barely more than a shack. But it’s dry. Mostly. Except the roof drips in two places.

You stand awkwardly close. Too close. The space smells like rain and sweat and wood. His arm brushes yours when he adjusts his belt. You try not to react, but your skin’s already warm from the charge of the lightning earlier.

“You’re shivering” he says quietly.

“No, I’m not.”

He looks at you. Long. Serious.

“Come here.”

You stare “What?”

“I’m warm,” he says, and yeah, his Devil Fruit does give him an advantage here...

You hesitate. Just a second.

Then you sigh and step closer. He pulls you in gently, an arm around your waist, casual like it means nothing. But it does.

His skin radiates heat. His breath brushes your temple. You stand there, half-mad from how close his mouth is to your ear.

“Better?” he asks.

You nod, voice low “Yeah. It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

You feel his smile before you see it.

Then, softer “You know… I wasn’t trying to push you away. Lat time we met.”

You glance up.

“We’re not allies” you say.

“We’re more than that,” he answers “Aren’t we?”

The silence grows thick. Your heart pounds so loud it nearly drowns out the rain.

You tilt your head “You always this forward when you’re wet?”

He chuckles, low and slow “Only when I like the person I’m stuck with.”

You stare at him.

He stares back.

Your lips are inches apart.

And still… neither of you moves.

Not yet.

But the storm isn’t the only thing building.

The rain pounds the roof, wild and heavy. The wind howls through the cracks in the walls, but inside the shack it’s still.

Your breath hitches.

Ace hasn’t moved and neither have you.

Your fingers curl slightly into his shirt. He’s too warm. Too close. Too good at looking at you like he knows exactly what you’re thinking.

“Say something” you whisper.

His voice is rough “You want honesty?”

You nod.

“I think about you too much.”

You blink “That wasn’t the kind of honesty I was expecting.”

He grins but it's softer than usual “Then maybe you should stop expecting the worst from me.”

You don’t have a smart reply this time.

You tilt your face up. You’re done pretending the heat between you is just because of your devil fruits, or the jungle, or the shared goal of revenge.

This is different. And it’s real.

You lean in.

So does he.

The kiss is slow at first. Testing. His lips brush yours like a question.

Then it deepens.

Your fingers fist into the front of his shirt. His hand finds the back of your neck, thumb grazing your skin in a way that sends a sharp bolt of need straight through you.

You shift, pressing closer... hips brushing, mouths moving. The shack feels smaller. The air tighter.

You gasp when his teeth graze your lower lip.

He pulls back just enough to speak, voice hoarse.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first island we met at.”

“You’re late” you murmur, tugging him back down.

This time, the kiss is rougher. More desperate. His hands on your waist now, yours sliding up under his shirt, fingers trailing over warm skin. He swears under his breath when you do.

You only break apart when a roll of thunder shakes the shack.

Your foreheads stay pressed together.

You’re both breathing hard.

Still wrapped around each other.

“Storm’s not letting up” he says.

“Guess we’re stuck.”

A small smile “Yeah. Real shame.”

Time pass and you’re curled up beside him, his jacket draped over you both like a blanket.

You trace a small burn scar on his shoulder lazily with one finger.

“You still want to find Blackbeard alone?”

Ace’s jaw tightens for a second.

Then he exhales “I don’t know anymore.”

You nod. You understand.

But for now, in this moment, neither of you are alone.

Weeks pass.

You and Ace keep crossing paths. At first, by accident. Now? You’re not so sure.

You bicker like rivals. Fight like friends. Flirt like something more.

“Lightning for brains” he mutters when you zap open a locked door instead of picking it.

“Matches-for-hands” you snap back, shoving past him.

But you don’t go separate ways this time.

It’s hot again. The island of Kota is all red dust and thick air. You’re sitting outside a half-crumbled tavern, nursing something too bitter to drink, when a kid, skinny, sunburned, eyes too sharp for his age, runs up to your table.

“You’re the lightning girl, right?”

You pause “Who’s asking?”

He glances around, then whispers, “I got news. About the man you’re hunting.”

That gets your full attention.

Ace looks up from his drink across the table. His whole body shifts, not much, but you feel it. Tension behind the ease. He’s worried, and trying to hide it.

“What kind of news?” you ask the boy.

“Blackbeard passed through Southshore two days ago. They say he’s headed to the mountains on Harka Isle. Big crew. Real big.”

The kid slips a folded paper into your hand and bolts before you can ask more.

You stare down at the message. Your pulse picks up. The handwriting is frantic. Names you recognize. Places that weren’t supposed to exist anymore.

“Let me see.” Ace says, reaching for it.

You snatch it away “No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“You don’t even know if it’s real—”

“I’ll decide that.”

He leans back in his chair, jaw tight “You’re not thinking straight.”

You stand “And you’re not listening.”

The fight doesn't end when the sun sets.

You’re pacing your rented room above the tavern, lightning buzzing faintly under your skin.

Ace leans against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“You’re acting like you’ve already decided to die.”

You spin “And you’re acting like I don’t have a reason!”

He walks toward you “I never said that.”

“But you think it.”

Silence.

His voice drops “I think you’re carrying something too heavy. Alone.”

You look at him.

And something breaks open.

“You want to know exactly why I’m doing all this? Fine.”

You walk to him close, but not touching.

“He killed my brother,” you say “During the raid on Drum Island. Not with his own hands... Blackbeard’s a coward. But it was his chaos. His madness. My brother bled out in the snow, calling for me, and I was too far to reach him.”

Ace’s eyes darken. He doesn’t move.

“I don’t care what it costs,” you whisper “I don’t care if I burn out, or if I die with him. As long as I take that bastard down into hell with me.”

He exhales slowly, like your words hit something deep.

And then he steps forward.

“I hate this,” he says quietly “Because I get it.”

You don't say anything else.

You just reach for him.

Later on, the sheets are twisted. Your skin still hums, but not from lightning. You’re pressed against Ace, legs tangled, his hand stroking slow circles on your spine.

Neither of you says much.

You don't need to.

It wasn’t rough. It wasn’t fast. Not this time.

It was everything unsaid, poured out in touches and breath and the way he looked at you like you were more than vengeance.

You break the silence.

“You really think I can’t do it?”

“I think you can,” he says softly “I just don’t want you to lose yourself doing it.”

You stare at the ceiling.

Too late for that. But you don’t say it.

You just stay there, in the dark, skin on skin.

Storms can wait. But not forever.

The sun is cruel when it wakes you.

You turn over, reaching across the bed.

Cold, empty sheets.

Your stomach drops.

You sit up, frowning “Ace?”

No answer.

You scan the room. His shirt is gone. So are his boots. His dagger. His hat.

You rush downstairs barefoot, wild with sleep and fear “Ace?!”

The barkeep doesn’t even look up “Left before sunrise. Didn’t say much.”

Your pulse pounds in your ears “Left where?”

No answer.

You push out into the sun-drenched street. A headache builds behind your eyes “Damn it. Damn it, Ace—”

“Hey” a voice says. It’s the kid from yesterday, standing near the edge of the alley. Same nervous energy. Same sharp stare “He left you something.”

You rush over “Where is he?!”

The boy just hands you a folded piece of paper.

You open it with shaking hands.

I had to go ahead. I know you’ll try to follow me. I hope you don’t. If I can end this, maybe you won’t have to. Don’t hate me for this. I’m not trying to leave you. I’m trying to save you.

You reread the words five times.

They don't sink in.

You press the page to your chest, breath shaking. But your mind grabs onto one thing.

He didn’t say goodbye.

He didn’t say he wouldn’t come back.

You chase every whisper. Every rumor.

Lightning burns under your skin as you cross sea after sea.

Someone saw smoke on Banaro Island.

Two men, one made of fire, one of darkness.

You go there.

You go to Banaro.

The island is scorched, like lightning and death danced a waltz across its surface.

Ash coats the wind. Trees splintered, rocks cracked down the middle.

Your stomach twists but your hope is louder.

“Ace won,” you whisper to yourself “He had to.”

There’s no body.

No blood.

You search until your knees ache. You find his hat, not burned, just buried under some rubble. You hold it to your chest and close your eyes.

Maybe he left it on purpose.

Maybe he’s coming back for it.

You smile.

You believe that.

You have to.

Three Days Later

You're in a small port town, hair damp from rain, scarf pulled tight as you sit in a dusty inn with a cup of bitter coffee.

There’s a newspaper crumpled on the table beside you. You’re not even looking at it.

Until you see the name.

“Portgas D. Ace: Captured. Now held in Impel Down.”

Your chest goes cold.

The mug slips from your fingers and shatters.

People glance over, but you don’t notice.

You just stare.

Captured.

Alive.

But for how long?

The newspaper says nothing about the fight. Nothing about what’s coming next.

But you know.

The World Government has him.

They’re going to make an example out of him.

You press your palms to your face and sit still for a long time.

Hope is still in your chest... But now it’s shaped more like panic.

You have to get to him.

You have to do something.

You will.

Because you can't be too late this time.

But you might be, if you don’t move... now.

[trippiexlove]

Blue

Author Note: Part four to Stone Cold Sinner. Read PART 1 , PART 2 , & PART 3 here. Soriya has a surprise for Jey. Based on the song 1+1 by Beyonce. If you would like to read any of my other works, here is my master list. Leave requests on this linked post.

Warning: Fluff, pet names

Pairing: Jey Uso x Black OC (Ari Fletcher as FC)

Word Count: 2,858

Make it last forever Come on, baby, won't you hold on to me, hold on to me? You and I together Come on, baby, won't you hold on to me, hold on to me? Blue

Weeks blurred into a tapestry of missed morning routines and an unsettling queasiness that shadowed Soriya's days. Important events were marked with a polite decline, and the vibrant energy she usually brought to filming content felt muted, replaced by a persistent fatigue that clung to her like a heavy blanket.

Tiffany and Breanna, her unwavering anchors, noticed the shift. Their usual lighthearted banter during their weekly brunch was punctuated with concerned glances at Soriya's pale complexion and the way she'd pick at her food. 

"You ok, Ri?" Breanna looked over at her friend in concern. 

Soriya, plastering a fake smile across her face, tried her best to look ok "Yeah I'm fine, think I might've caught a little bug," she groan a bit, rubbing a stomach slightly "I've been tired and my stomach been cramping"

It was Tiffany, ever the direct one, who finally voiced their shared worry. "Ri, you gotta get a test, girl. This ain't just a little bug."

Soriya demurred, brushing it off "It's just stress, I'll be fine".

but Breanna's gentle agreement with Tiffany's bluntness chipped away at her resistance, "I agree with Tiff, Ri it may not be just a bug. Why don't you just make an appointment just to be sure". A knot of apprehension tightened in Soriya's stomach as she nodded apprehensively.

They quickly ended brunch, Soriya making her way home. When she laid in bed, phone in hand she had a moment of hesitation. This is just crazy, there's no way I can be pregnant. These thoughts swirled through her mind. She sighed, looking at the screen. Not letting another moment go by, she quickly called her doctor and made an appointment. 

The sterile scent of the doctor's office did little to calm her nerves a few days later. Dr. Lewis, with her reassuring smile, listened patiently to Soriya's vague complaints before suggesting a routine pregnancy test, just to rule things out. The waiting felt like an eternity, each tick of the clock amplifying the quiet hum of the office.

Her phone buzzed, Josh's name illuminating the screen. 

Baby 🩵: "Hey baby, just checking in. How you feeling?" 

This brought a bittersweet pang to her chest as she typed back.  

Princess ❤️: "Hey honey, I'm okay. Just a little stomach bug going around"

A small lie to protect a truth she wasn't yet ready to face.The door creaked open, and Dr. Lewis returned, her expression gentle. "Soriya, the test came back positive. You're pregnant."

The words hung in the air, stark and undeniable. A strange calmness washed over Soriya, a blank canvas of feeling. Not elation, not sadness, just... stillness. Dr. Lewis, sensing her quiet shock, offered a quick ultrasound.

The grainy image flickered on the screen, a tiny, indistinct shape. And then, a faint, rapid pulse. Something shifted within Soriya. A wave of emotion, unexpected and profound, washed over her. Tears welled in her eyes as the reality began to take root. Dr. Lewis smiled softly, scheduling a follow-up appointment before Soriya numbly made her way home.

Soriya laid across her bed, holding onto her pillow as if it could anchor her to the bed. The insistent ring of her phone broke the silence of her room. She reluctantly answered the phone, knowing it was Tiffany and Bre. "Hey" her voice filled with uncertainty.

Breanna's voices, laced with concern, flooded her ears. "You ok Ri?"

The dam finally broke, as she choked out, the words thick with unshed tears, "I'm pregnant."

Their initial shock quickly morphed into exuberant excitement. "Oh my god, Ri! That's amazing!" Tiffany's voice bubbled with enthusiasm. 

Breanna's was softer, laced with genuine care. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

Soriya's carefully constructed composure crumbled. Tears streamed down her face as she voiced her fears and uncertainties. "I'm scared as hell. I don't know how he's going to react. We haven't even talked about having kids together."

Her best friends listened patiently, their reassurances a soothing balm. "We're here for you, always," Tiffany declared fiercely. 

"And you know Josh is going to be over the moon." Breanna echoed her sentiment, her voice filled with unwavering support.

Soriya sighed, wiping away stray tears. Her best friends words providing the comfort she needed. "Thanks, I don't know what I would do without y'all" 

"Luckily, you don't have to know" Breanna stated softly. After a few moments they ended the call. Soriya deciding to get some rest. 

Few days later, Soriya found herself at her mother's house. Their usual Sunday dinner that they never missed. The comfort of home Soriya needed right now to calm the storm that was brewing inside her. 

Her mother moved effortlessly around the large kitchen. Her famous pasta being cooked on the stove, homemade rolls baking in the oven filled the house. 

Soriya sat at the large island, aimlessly typing away on her phone. Josh had texted her, saying he got some time off the road in a few weeks and wanted to come visit her instead. She sat quietly, than her usual bubbly personally. Her mom taking notice "You ok Ri?" 

Looking up, Soriya put on her best fake smile "Yeah I'm good mommy"

Her mom gave her a look, letting her know she saw right through her facade. Soriya letting out a sigh of defeat, "You gon' tell me the truth or continue lying?"

Placing her phone down, she ran a hand through her hair. She decided to take a small break from wigs and let her natural curls breathe. "There's this guy I've been dealing with for a while now. We started out just hanging out occasionally when he's in town and I've even visited him a few times. We just recently made things official." 

Her mom nodded as she began cooking the sauce for the pasta. "Ok what's his name?"

"Josh," Soriya smiled at the mention of his name out of habit, "he's really sweet and caring. He comes from a large, supportive family." 

"Ok," cutting down the heat, she turned towards Soriya, seeing the turmoil in her eyes "I feel like there's more you're not telling me." 

Knowing she couldn't keep this from her mom any longer she just blurted it out "I'm pregnant". 

Her mom eyes widen. It took her a few moments to let the words fully sink in when she screamed excitedly, pulling Soriya into a hug. "Oh my baby," she pulled back looking into Soriya's eyes "my baby's having a baby" 

Soriya gave her a small smile, eyes slightly burning with tears. Her mother's smile dropped slowly "Are you not happy?"

"It's not that I'm not happy," Soriya poked out her lips a bit "I'm scared" she stated just above a whisper. 

"Oh honey," her mom pulled her into another hug. Soriya taking in her mother's familiar comforting scent. "if he's just as caring as you say he is, then I just know he's going to be just as happy"

Soriya hoped her mother's words held truth. As she would find out just how Josh would react when she told him the news in a few weeks.

A few of weeks later, the anticipation of Josh's arrival in Miami was a tangled knot of excitement and anxiety in Soriya's chest. She longed to see him, to feel his familiar embrace, but the weight of her secret pressed down on her.

The first few days of his visit were filled with their usual easy intimacy, but Josh, ever attuned to her moods, sensed a subtle shift. The sparkle in her eyes seemed dimmed, her laughter didn't quite reach the same pitch.

Soriya was lounging on the balcony one warm evening, the gentle rhythm of the ocean providing a soft soundtrack. Soriya was curled in a lounge chair, a comfortable silence stretching between them. 

Josh, just finished with a shower, leaned against the balcony doors. His gazed on her strong. He slowly walked over, getting her attention. He slid in behind her, settling beside her and pulling her close. They sat in silence for a moment, until Josh spoke up. "What's goin' on, ma?" he murmured, his voice a low rumble against her hair. "You been kind of quiet since I been here."

Soriya offered a weak smile. "Nothing, baby. Just tired, I guess." But the hesitation in her voice was palpable. 

A wetness bloomed on his shirt, and Josh gently pulled back, his eyes widening with concern as he saw the tears silently tracing paths down her cheeks. "Soriya? What is it? Talk to me."

She took a shaky breath, her gaze fixed on the distant horizon. The words felt heavy, lodged in her throat. Finally, in a rush, she confessed. "I... I'm pregnant, Josh."

The initial shock registered on his face, his expression unreadable for a fleeting moment. Then, he reached out, cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs gently wiping away her tears. He leaned in, his lips finding hers in a long, tender kiss that spoke volumes.

Pulling back, his eyes searched hers. "You okay?"

Soriya nodded, more tears welling up. "I was just... scared. Scared of how you'd react."

A soft smile spread across Josh's face, chasing away the last vestiges of shock. "Scared? Baby girl," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "this is amazing." He kissed her forehead, his gaze filled with a newfound tenderness. "I can't imagine doing this with anyone else but you, Soriya. You and me? We got this."

The tension in Soriya's shoulders eased, replaced by a wave of relief and a burgeoning joy. In the quiet intimacy of the balcony, under the soft glow of the Miami night, they held each other close, the unspoken promise of their future hanging sweetly in the air.

8 months later

Soriya settled onto the plush velvet stool at her vanity, the scent of hairspray and sweet perfume filling the air. Tiffany and Breanna moved around her with practiced ease, their laughter a gentle melody as they worked on her hair and makeup. Today was her baby shower, a celebration that felt both surreal and incredibly real.

"I am so ridiculously excited for my nephew to finally be here," Tiffany exclaimed, her voice bubbling with anticipation as she carefully applied a touch of highlighter to Soriya's cheekbone.

Soriya chuckled softly, a hand instinctively resting on her prominent bump. "Tell me about it. I'm so ready for him to make his grand exit," she sighed contentedly, then playfully groaned. "This little man thinks my uterus is some kind of damn wrestling ring."

"Gotta start him early," Breanna quipped, her tongue peeking out in concentration as she expertly wrapped a section of Soriya's hair around the curling wand. The soft sizzle of the heat filled the brief silence. "You know he's going to be joining the bloodline down the road."

Soriya playfully rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. "Let Josh tell it, he'll have my baby in the ring as soon as I push him out," she joked, causing all three of them to erupt in laughter, the sound echoing in the room. They finished the final touches of Soriya's hair and makeup, their movements becoming more deliberate as they allowed her to get dressed in private.

When Soriya stepped out of the bathroom, the soft white fabric of her dress cascaded over her swollen belly, pooling gently around her bare feet. The sight took the girls' breath away. Tears instantly welled in their eyes.

"You look absolutely breathtaking, Ri," Breanna whispered, pulling her into a tender hug, a single tear escaping and tracing a path down her cheek. Tiffany rushed over, her own tears already falling freely.

Emotion welled up in Soriya's chest, a lump forming in her throat. She returned their embrace, gently dabbing at their tears. "Y'all are going to make me ruin my makeup before we even get to the baby shower," she said, her voice thick with affection.

"Alright, alright," Tiffany sniffled, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "Let's get you downstairs before we're late f'real." They made their way down the stairs, the murmur of male voices growing louder as they approached the living room, where Josh, his brothers, and their cousin were waiting.

As Soriya reached the last step, the boisterous conversation in the living room abruptly ceased. A hush fell over the room, all eyes drawn to her. Josh stood frozen, his gaze sweeping over Soriya, his breath catching in his throat. The sight of her, radiant and glowing with her pregnancy, was momentarily overwhelming.

He snapped out of his reverie when Jimmy playfully nudged his shoulder, a knowing grin on his face. Josh straightened to his full height, his eyes never leaving Soriya as he made his way towards her. He reached her, taking in every detail of her beautiful form. "You look beautiful, ma," he said, his voice soft with adoration.

Soriya's face lit up with an instant smile. "Thank you, baby," she replied, her eyes lovingly tracing the lines of his crisp button-up shirt, the familiar weight of his Cuban chain resting against his chest. "You look pretty good yourself."

"Ready to go celebrate our little man?" Josh asked, his hand gently finding hers. Soriya nodded, her fingers intertwining with his. "Let's go then."

The drive to the venue was filled with comfortable anticipation. As they pulled into the parking lot, it was already bustling with the cars of their relatives and friends. Josh carefully helped Soriya out of the car, his hand protectively placed on her back as he guided her towards the entrance.

A chorus of warm greetings erupted as they made their grand entrance. A genuine smile eased onto Soriya's face as she greeted each guest, her heart swelling with love and gratitude. When she reached her mother, the carefully held-back emotions began to surface.

She leaned into her mother's embrace, the familiar scent of her perfume a comforting anchor. "Oh, my baby, you look so incredibly beautiful," her mother murmured, her arms wrapped tightly around Soriya. When they pulled apart, her mother gently wiped away the tears that had finally spilled down Soriya's cheeks. "No tears today. We're here to celebrate you and this precious little one, okay?" Soriya nodded, a fresh wave of emotion washing over her as her mother pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Throughout the party, a joyous atmosphere permeated the air. Guests indulged in the delicious spread of traditional Samoan food, the fragrant aromas mingling with the lively chatter and laughter. The rhythmic beat of music filled the space, and soon Soriya found herself in the center of a spontaneous dance circle, everyone cheering her on with enthusiastic shouts of "Go Riya!" as they moved around her.

Then came the time for the gifts. A mountain of diapers, soft custom blankets, adorable onesies, and an impressive collection of tiny sneakers – a testament to his sneakerhead uncles and his father's influence – were unwrapped with exclamations of delight. Soriya picked up a familiar-looking box from Bianca and Tez, the bold white lettering ELIANTTE unmistakable across the front.

Soriya shot them a playful look, raising an eyebrow. Tez just threw her a goofy grin. "C'mon, open it up, girl!" he urged, causing a ripple of laughter around them.

She carefully lifted the lid, and her breath hitched. Nestled in the tissue paper, a tiny Cuban bracelet gleamed in the soft light. A collective cheer erupted from the guests.

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, uce!" Josh exclaimed, giving Tez a high-five.

"Gotta start little man off right," Tez winked. Soriya shook her head playfully, a warm smile gracing her lips as she leaned over to give him a hug.

After all the gifts were opened and admired, Josh and Soriya took over the microphone, their voices filled with heartfelt gratitude as they thanked everyone for their love and support. As the celebration began to wind down, Trin and Jimmy generously offered to help with getting the gifts back to their house.

As the twins carried in the last load of presents, Soriya turned to Trin, offering her a tired but happy smile. "Thank you so much for everything, Trin. I really appreciate it."

"No problem at all, girl," Trin replied warmly, leaning in for a hug. "You know you're going to forever have a village behind you now."

"Don't I know it," Soriya laughed softly, a wave of exhaustion washing over her. Soon, the twins returned, Jimmy giving Soriya a gentle hug. Trin and Jimmy said their goodbyes before heading out into the evening.

When Soriya turned back around, Jey was already watching her, his gaze soft and full of love. He slowly walked over, his arms wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. "You know I love you, right?" he murmured against her hair.

A flutter stirred in her chest. She nodded, her hand reaching up to cup the side of his face. "I do," she whispered. "I love you too."

He leaned in, pressing a slow, tender kiss to her lips before pulling away slightly, his eyes still locked on hers. "Alright, let's get you upstairs. I'm going to give you a foot massage," he said, gently taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs. "I know those dogs are barkin' by now."

Soriya playfully smacked his chest, a tired giggle escaping her lips. "Boy, get on," she said, affectionately rolling her eyes as she began to waddle towards the stairs, Josh walking closely behind, his hand never leaving hers.

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riyaofficial_ My heart is overfilled with so much happiness. Can't wait to meet my baby boy soon. 🩵

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[sugardollcurse]

Hello again! Still here constantly checking for new fics!

I was wondering if you could write a John x reader where he is yearning for the reader's attention and gets really Jelous? Idk what else to request I am just in love with your style and nwed more John fics in my life.

𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓

꒰ pairing ꒱ john lennon x reader

꒰ summary ꒱ john’s attention is on you, but so is his jealousy. he can’t stand seeing you give any part of your heart away to someone else... even if it’s just a joke. and it’s driving him mad.

꒰ note ꒱ OUGHH THANK YOU!! you're so kind! i hope you enjoy this cuz i know i enjoyed writing it <3

John Lennon was always the center of attention. Whether in a room full of reporters or standing in the spotlight of a stage, he thrived on it. His wit, his charm, his confidence... he was magnetic. He didn’t need to be told that.

But there was something about you. Something different. You had this gentle way of pulling him in without even trying, making him feel like he was the most important thing in the room. The way you’d look at him, your eyes soft yet piercing, like you could see straight through the layers of John Lennon. And he loved it. You saw him, in a way no one else could.

Still, that didn’t stop a certain gnawing feeling in his gut whenever you gave anyone else attention.

It started innocently enough. You’d invited a few friends over, nothing too formal, just a cozy little gathering. John was leaning back on the couch, his arm draped lazily across the back. He was already half-tuned out, lost in his own thoughts. But you, well, you were a bit more present. You were chatting away with a friend, laughing easily, joking about something John couldn’t quite catch.

The sound of your laughter made his chest tighten. You were enjoying yourself. And his thoughts started to wander, irrational, silly thoughts that he would later hate himself for.

What if you liked them more than him? What if he was just the loud, cocky person you indulged because he was John Lennon, but you really wanted someone else?

“Don’t be daft,” he muttered under his breath, leaning forward to take a drag off his cigarette.

You didn’t hear him, still caught up in your conversation with your friend. You were smiling so brightly at them, your eyes dancing. John’s fingers twitched around his cigarette, irritation pooling in his stomach. The jealousy bubbled up, quiet at first, but growing more insistent.

Minutes passed, but John couldn't shake the feeling. He was suddenly standing up, crossing the room with purpose, the sound of his boots against the floor louder than usual.

“Oi, love,” he called, his voice a little rougher than he meant it to be.

You turned toward him, flashing a smile that made his heart do a little flip. But John had already caught the way you were laughing at them, your friend still holding your attention. He wasn’t about to let this slide.

“Yeah?” you asked, your voice light, but with that little edge of curiosity that he loved.

John didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he just stared at you, his brows furrowed. He hated feeling this way, he hated being this way. But there it was: that awful feeling of being left out, even if it was in a room full of people who cared about him.

“Y'busy?” he finally asked, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. The jealousy was creeping through, loud and insistent.

You gave him a soft shrug, glancing at your friend before turning back to John. “Not really. Just talking, you know. Why?”

“I dunno,” John muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just... thought I’d get a little attention from my Y/n.” He grinned, but the edge of vulnerability in his voice was hard to miss.

You blinked, confused for a moment, but then you caught that little flicker of unease in his eyes. Oh. You suddenly realized what was going on.

“John,” you said softly, moving closer to him, your voice dropping to that tone that always made him melt. “You’re always the center of attention.”

But that didn’t seem to matter. Not when it was your attention that he wanted, and right now, he was feeling a bit starved for it. His gaze flickered to your friend, who had already noticed the shift in the room and gave the two of you some space.

John let out a small sigh, feeling a bit embarrassed now. He hated being so... needy. But with you, it was so easy to slip into it. So easy to want more.

“Y’know,” he muttered, his tone almost petulant, “I don’t like sharing you.”

You blinked, a surprised laugh escaping your lips. “John, it’s not like that. It’s just a bit of fun.”

He couldn’t quite meet your eyes, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, well, you’re mine. And... I can’t help but get a little mad when someone else tries to take my spot.”

The words felt too raw coming from him, but there they were... out in the open. And for a second, John regretted saying them. But when you stepped closer, your hand gently cupping his cheek, he couldn’t bring himself to take them back.

“John,” you said softly, “you don’t have to be jealous. I’m always gonna be here, okay?”

You could feel his breath catch at your words, his shoulders relaxing just a little. Slowly, he leaned into your touch, his cheek resting against your palm. It was always like this. He pushed and pulled, but in the end, he just wanted to feel close to you.

“I just want to be the one who gets your smile,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled at him then, the kind of smile that made his heart swell in his chest. “You already are.”

John’s eyes softened as he looked down at you, the jealousy fading as quickly as it had come. “Right then,” he said, his voice still a little gruff, but with that familiar warmth behind it. “I guess I can share. For now.”

You chuckled, reaching up to kiss his cheek softly. “Good. Now come on,” you said with a playful grin, “let’s go steal the spotlight together.”

John’s arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer as he muttered, “I’ll share the spotlight with you... just this once.”

As the night carried on, John stayed by your side, his earlier jealousy melting into the comfortable warmth of your attention. Every now and then, he’d catch your eye from across the room, and you’d send him a little wink or smile, reminding him that he was the one who had your heart.

And for tonight, that was more than enough.

taglist: @sharksausages, @wavvytin, @wimpyvamps, @finallyforgotten, @lennongirlieee, @silly-lil-lee

[toonice113]

Foolish one  ⋆ ★  A.Matthews

Pairings: Auston Matthews x Fem!reader

Summary: After a year of hooking up with Auston, it takes him getting a girlfriend for you to realize he just wasn’t the one

Warnings: mentions of sex but nothing explicit, no happy ending.

Word count: 1.4k

⋆˚࿔ tina's note 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ I wrote this at 4am while being extremely sleepy and edited it a little bit just now, but i can’t promise it's well edited. This also started up being inspired by siren sounds by tate mcrae but then turned into more of a foolish one vibe and i just leaned into it.

The whole situation with Auston had been going on for about a year now, a whole year of hooking up. It was never meant to be something more and you knew it, only a few of your friends knew about it, and they had warned you about keeping this going on for so long, pleading for you to not get too attached to him when the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, you swore you wouldn’t.

Then things changed, slowly you and Auston became closer, what once was just meaningless sex where he would leave straight after turning into him staying, pillow talk about superficial stuff turning into deep conversations where you got to know more about Auston that you ever had about any ex.

You could feel yourself falling as time went by, and while Auston never gave you any implication of wanting more from your arrangement, his attention was enough to keep you around. You knew he was seeing other girls, and while deep inside it killed you, you would never admit it, telling yourself that it didn’t matter because you knew parts of him he would never show anyone else, because you were the one he always found himself returning to when things got rough

.

Sometimes though, the thought of sharing him was too much for you, and that hurt translated to anger, moments where you let him see really how much power he had over you in the relationship, moments like the one you found yourself in right now.

“I don’t know what you want me to do” Auston sighed.

“It’s not that hard Auston just don’t feed the cat your dinner” Your voice raises.

“I didn’t feed him!” His voice is steady but frustrated, Auston never raises his voice, not for you. “The food fell from my plate and he ate it before I could pick it up, it was only a piece of chicken he’ll be fine” 

“He’s been throwing up for days, he’s not fine” You argue.

“Is that what’s got you in such a bad mood? the cat being sick?” He asks, the half eaten food now forgotten, the cat looking up waiting for more, unaware of what’s going on.

“Maybe you should call one of your other girls, they’re probably in a better mood” His face breaks into a smug smile as soon as the words leave your mouth and you immediately regret the sentence you never meant to speak in the first place.

“I don’t want any other girls baby” He gets up and walks towards you, his arms trapping you between his body and your kitchen counters. “You’re the only one for me and you know it” 

But you don’t know it, you can’t, not with certainty, not when he says this one night and then you see rumors of him hooking up with a random girl while he’s on a road trip. Still you let him charm you, ending up in bed once more, because you can’t resist Auston and he knows it.

This is it, you tell yourself that two nights ago was the last time, you’re done with Auston, and it’s not because of jealousy, it’s the fact that you can’t stand to have your heart broken once more. Just two nights ago he was in your bed, whispering sweet words into your ear, just for you to wake up on your own on a cold bed the next morning and seeing pictures of him with some girl out for lunch later that same day.

You could have blocked him, it would’ve made things easier, but you don’t, you just avoid him, an easy task while he is away on a road trip. He messages you a couple times throughout the days he is away, you open those messages, of course, but you manage to keep yourself from replying to any of them.

It was two days after he arrived back in the city that your absence finally hit him, you had managed to keep yourself distracted enough with work to worry too much about him and tonight you were finally taking a night for yourself, you’d finished all your work for the week and your cat was finally back to healthy, so you poured yourself a glass of wine and turned in a romcom. You were halfway through the movie when your doorbell rang, opening the door without checking who it was first, you came face to face with the man you had managed to avoid for about a week.

“Go away Auston, I’m done” You said trying to keep your voice firm.

“What?” he tilted his head, confused on why you weren’t letting him in like you had so many nights before.

“I can’t do this anymore” You gestured between the two of you “It’s over Auston” 

“Baby” his hand reached out to yours and you tried, you really tried to hold it together, but you could never resist him, so you let him take it “What are you talking about? Let’s talk about this” 

His thumb rubbed your hand in a calming notion and you just shook your head, knowing that your words would only betray you “Baby please, don’t do this, you’re too important to me and I can’t lose you”

“You can’t lose something you don’t have” Your voice comes out in something barely louder than a whisper “And I’m not yours Auston, just like you were never mine” A lie, you know it and he knows it, you have been his from that very first night.

“But that’s where you’re wrong” He moves his other hand to wipe the tears that are starting to flow “I’m yours baby, have been from the moment we met, let me show you just how much I’m yours” 

You wish you could say you stood your ground, said goodbye and closed the door finalizing the relationship, but you’re not that strong, and just like that he was back in your bed and in your life. It was almost perfect for a bit, you convinced yourself that maybe this was the time, this was it, you and Auston were finally on your way to more, this time it was real. You had just let yourself believe when the texts and calls became less and less, but you chalked it up as just him preparing for the upcoming playoffs.

It took a bit for it to all come crashing down, you’d watched game 1 at a bar with friends, texting him a congratulatory text after the win, expressing how proud you were of him and how you couldn’t wait to see him, his response had been warm, just enough to keep you from overthinking about his lack of communication over the past few days. Then, game two came around and you found yourself at a friend’s house, sitting at the table ready to gossip about whatever was going on at everyone’s work, but your friends had different gossip they were interested in, for the first time in forever Auston Matthews had made a relationship public.

One of your friend’s phone was being passed around, in it a picture of the Toronto Maple leafs wags in their playoffs jackets, one of them proudly wearing the last name Matthews, a 34 printed in it. Your friends were joking about it, one or two of them who knew about you and Auston looking at you expectantly, waiting to hear what you had to add to the story, because surely you’d know something –you didn’t–  and suddenly the food in front of you no longer seemed appetizing, and your friends laughs sounded like nails on chalkboard, and your clothes were too tight and you just needed to get out of there.

Back in your apartment you knew this time you had to do it, you had to be strong and stand up for yourself, so you sent one last text, wishing him luck on his future, thanking him for the past year and telling him to go fuck himself for playing you before you blocked his number. You knew he would come looking for you, or maybe he wouldn't. You couldn’t be sure, so you packed a bag, packed your cat, and drove to your brother’s house, where you slept in your nephew’s twin sized bed for a week before deciding to go back to your life.

You were heartbroken, yes, but you knew you had to move on, because while you would get those secret smiles and loving stares in bed, she was getting his jacket, and he was publicly expressing his love for her, announcing their relationship proudly when he couldn’t even make it official for you two, so you were ready to finally learn your lesson. And it would take time, but you knew there would come a day when you would find someone to love you loud and proudly, because after all, he just wasn’t the one.

[skys-hyperfixation-thoughts]

Caleb Deep Dive

Here is the long awaited deep dive into Caleb from Love and DeepSpace. This has been a long time coming. It took me about 2 months to get all of my thoughts together. Without further ado, this is the Deep Dive.

If you watched this The Caleb Conspiracy video, you'll see that I accidentally convinced myself to fall for Caleb a short time before his official debut as a LI. Hilariously, in this fun little speculative theory, my partner and I managed to get several aspects of Caleb's character right. With his debut came a lot more content about Caleb, a glimpse into his past and where Infold plans to take him as the story progresses. In this essay, we'll be going over Caleb's lore as well as his dynamic with the MC. 

*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!*

I am not here to babysit people and doing a study like this will require me to note specific parts of the story or memory cards from the game. So, yes there will be spoilers. 

With that out of the way, let's dive in. 

It all begins in late December 2024 to early January 2025, my partner and I were quick to pick up hints that Caleb was going to be the next LI. The part 2 stream announcement image alone was enough to confirm our suspicions. Within a few days, we came up with a speculative theory about Caleb. Specifically, what his dynamic with the MC would be and how we interpreted the way he spoke to MC. The biggest takeaway was that my partner and I agreed that, based upon how he spoke to MC in Chapter 4, Caleb would be one of the first LIs to forsake the MCs independence solely because he wanted to protect her.

January 22nd rolls around and Caleb finally debuts. My partner and I gobble up the main story segment ‘Homecoming Wings’ with ferocious speed. Initially, I had only a blanket understanding of Caleb after the debut.

At first, yeah, he did give off some yandere vibes. He was a little scary. That didn’t deter me, so I kept consuming content. I listened to the 4-star Tender Moments. I did the memorias, the bond, and the standard myth. Slowly but surely, the puzzle pieces were coming together.

The final piece was the anecdote. 

“Sky, Sky, what do you mean this was the final piece?”

Caleb’s Anecdote delved into his time at the academy, before he joined the DeepSpace Aviation Administration (DAA). It explained in a little more detail what each aspiring pilot needs to go through in order to graduate. 

It talks about how Caleb aced all but one test. The test? A psychological assessment that required him to go to extra counseling.

But…that wasn’t the biggest punch to the gut. No, it came later when he was in the middle of his flight exam. Somehow, he ended up off the flight path for the exam and drifted along in Deepspace. In that time, as we wait with bated breath and continue reading, it is revealed to us that Caleb is Donor 002. Us, the MC, are known as Subject 001 (see beneath the dust, world underneath). Donor 002, not subject. Caleb was given to the Gaia Research Institute for experimentation, based upon the wording used here. He wasn’t just picked up and plopped into the experiments.  

This was the nail in the coffin. It explains why Caleb acts the way he does. Why he’s willing to go to certain lengths as a means to protect us. He watched us die, he watched us come back, and he watched us forget.

“But didn’t he drug us during the Main Story?”

Yes and no, he gave us drugs, but that was medicine because, per the dialogue boxes for MC, we were coughing. From his perspective, he was seeing us getting sick and gave us cold medicine to take. Cold medicine often makes you drowsy so it makes sense that the MC ended up falling asleep. 

Was there an ulterior motive? Maybe, but the primary concern was the MCs health. So, yes, he gave us drugs, but it was medicine and the overall intent was not malicious. 

“He acted so possessive and obsessive in the main story. He told us he was going to keep us hidden away.”

I am not denying the things he said. What I am saying is that, although he felt that was the extreme he needed to go to, he backed off when the MC was clearly not happy with that. When MC made their feelings about his plan clear, he backed away. He had realized he went too far and needed to re-evaluate. Caleb wants to stay in the MCs life, because we are his pillar. We are his entire reason for living. He does not want to lose us. He clearly puts in the work to change himself and let us be independent, while reminding us that it is okay if we need to rely on him. 

“So is he not yandere?”

I personally do not believe he is yandere. If he is, he is a very tame one. I have always interpreted yandere as taking things to the extreme, not considering the other party's feelings in regards to one's obsession. Caleb takes the MCs feelings into consideration despite his obsessive nature.

Keep in mind that since the explosion of the MCs childhood home, he has a chip in his brain that regulates his emotions. When he gets too emotional, the chip goes to work to attempt to regulate him, which seems to cause pain. Additionally, the chip is supposed to wipe the memories that cause emotional distress, but because Caleb is unwilling to lose any memory with the MC, he cannot be fully controlled by the trip. According to his myth, Lucid Dream, 7% of his brain has been untouchable. The mental fortitude one must have to do such a thing is scarily high. He will do whatever it takes to ensure he never forgets MC.

“You mentioned at the start something about their relationship dynamic. Can you elaborate?”

Initially, I didn’t think I would want to delve into it, but I think it’s important to discuss some of the translation differences. 

In the original text (basically, the non-localized translations), the MC refers to Caleb as ‘Gege’. The direct translation means ‘older brother.’ While the term can be used in the literal sense of referring to one's sibling, it is also a way to refer to someone older than you. The form I am most familiar with is how characters in anime refer to their senior’s as senpai. 

A great example of the use of this in a translated sense is in Wuthering Waves, a gacha game similar to Genshin Impact. As Rover (Main Playable Character), I played through a quest where people referred to those slightly older as ‘Brother/Sister’, then those a bit older as ‘Aunt/Uncle’, and then their elders as ‘Grandpa/Grandma’ while having no familial relations to these NPCs. 

In LADS’ case, I think the use of ‘Gege’ is moreso seniority based rather than familial based. Please do keep in mind that I have consumed this game with the English localization of the text. But at the end of the day, the overall dynamic doesn’t change that much, just the language used.

The English translation refers to Caleb as our ‘childhood friend’ and notes that we grew up with him. My hypothesis is that Josephine made it very clear to them both that they are not siblings, but just friends who happen to live in the same home. Albeit with its own level of drama since Caleb remembers everything from the past and is extremely aware that Josephine experimented on the two of them.

The biggest reason why I wanted to address the use of ‘Gege’ was because of the culture differences. People ask why they didn’t just use similar language in the translation. The answer is really simple, a lot more of the western countries don’t refer to those older than them that way. I myself live in the US, not once have I referred to anyone older than me as ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ or any other form of name along those lines.

LADS’ main purpose with the localization is to broaden its audience horizon. The more people the game can reach, the more possible attention and profit they can make. If that means that some characterizations or language gets lost in the middle, then so be it in their minds. Additionally, Infold doesn’t localize the game itself. They have a third-party do it. So, like with the language, some things can get lost between LADS’ intentions and the portrayal in the localization. 

“Can you give your general overview of Caleb?”

I certainly can. 

Caleb is a genuinely warm and kind person at heart who has had to adapt to survive. He does not want to be the mean, cold, and cruel Colonel, but in order to protect those he cares about, he has to. 

He is a sweet soul who has been put through so much pain and suffering. Experimented on as a child, nearly died twice, and had to watch the person he cares about the most in his entire life die and forget him over and over again. 

Caleb is a man so desperate to protect what he cares about that he will go to extreme lengths to do so. However, if you were to show you don’t agree with his decisions, then he will back off. At the end of the day, he still respects the MC’s opinion of him. He cannot bear to lose them.

“What about his latest limited Myth? Does that add anything new to his character?”

Just a little. It gives some extra depth to some of the things that Caleb does. What is really heartwarming to me is the entire fact that the Main Story, in a way, is the dream come true of their wishes in the myth. Sure, they were still experimented on, but they aren’t being weaponized to the same extent that they were in the limited Myth. The mimicry here where MCs memories were deliberately wiped over and over in the Myth that echoes how MC lost her memory each time she ‘died’ during the experiments at the Gaia Research Center tears at my heart every single time. 

Additionally, one of the biggest notes is Caleb’s insistence of MC never having to eat tasteless food again. I think that was a big motivator for Caleb in the Main Timeline wanting to learn to cook so MC never has to have a bland meal ever again. It is really clear that his love language is acts of service both in the Main Timeline and in his Myth. 

“My Partner: Hey, sweetie, you should talk about the Toring Chip and how that could impact his intimacy.”

You are so right. As we know the chip affects strong and intense emotions. We see it in action both in Caleb’s Myth: Lucid Dream and in the World Underneath: Sketches Vol. 13 with Caleb and his Adjutant Liam. When Caleb experienced a lot of stress related to MC in Lucid Dream, the chip activated and he passed out in her arms. The chip is supposed to remove any memories that cause emotional distress, which creates apathetic weapons that make their decisions primarily based on logic. It is unclear how effective the chip is with Caleb as any memory he has with MC would initiate an emotional reaction. Additionally, canon has stated that he is intentionally protecting his memories of the MC from the chip's influence. 

So we know it has little hold over his memories with MC, but could it potentially have an affect on moments where they are intimate? There is a chance it could. I mean, Caleb has been yearning for MC ever since they were young. His heart would be pounding, he would be so nervous if she even kissed him in the main story. A kiss in the main timeline would be an emotionally intense moment that could cause the chip to activate. We do not know for sure if that would be the case as we have yet to see Caleb attempt to be intimate with MC in the main story in a card where he has the Toring Chip. 

So, potentially, the chip could greatly affect his ability to be physically affectionate with MC.

Update: A little bit after I had written this, the Spring Banner had dropped where we got our first Main Timeline Caleb kiss. Based on the story of the card, the chip did not activate. Additionally, a Secret Times released for Affinity level 105 that is on the spicier side. Once more, the Toring chip did not activate.

There is still certainly a chance the chip could activate during intimacy, but so far, it does not. 

“What? Do you love him or something?”

The answer is simple. Yes, I do love him.

 I loved him the moment I began the small video project with my partner where we did an extrapolation on Caleb as a potential LI prior to his official debut in January. The more I tried to learn about him, the more attached I became. When he released, the ambiguity of what Caleb would be as a byproduct to main story events was so and continues to be extremely intriguing. 

I absolutely love the familiarity in he and MCs relationship dynamic. The comfort they share with one another with playful banter. The teasing and how they both know if it’s a time to be serious or a time to be goofy. They are not perfect by any means, but that gives that dynamic even more charm. He is attentive, kind, sweet, adorably annoying, with that perfect blend of mystery that keeps you hooked, yearning to learn more and more about him. 

In much shorter terms, he is a devoted puppy. This is a fact that he himself does not deny with the several allusions to him comparing himself to a dog. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this deep dive. I had a lot of fun writing it! 

Please feel free to share your thoughts as well. I would absolutely love to see other people’s interpretations of Caleb. 

Thank you again for reading!

[puzzledprose]

omg i just read your band au for ronin and i am in love!! could i perhaps request more band au content … perhaps with something like ronin casually finding out reader can sing/play the guitar as well (not necessary ofc) but would def love to see more ronin <3

Ronin X Reader: Musically Talented

I really liked writing this one! I’m gonna try to do weekly uploads so I post consistently rather than dumping 4 posts on you guys and then ghosting you for a month.

Anyways I hope you enjoy ♥️

Like most other people, you had a habit of singing to yourself. In the shower, cooking breakfast, doing the cleaning. Any task like that would have you humming whatever tune you had stuck in your head that day. However, when you were home alone you really went all out. Having whole concerts in your kitchen with your speaker blasting music was the best times of your week. Hitting high notes was particularly fun for you, so a lot of the songs you liked were quite high pitched.

One day as you were having one of your at home performances you were reaching a part of the song that was a particularly hard note. You prepared yourself and hit it right for the first time! You were so happy you had done it. When the song was over you pumped your fist in the air and turned around to grab a glass of water when you came face to face with… Ronin.

You didn’t think he was supposed to be home yet!?!? He burst out laughing at your shocked expression as you stood there dazed. You were completely out of your element here. Singing was one thing but having someone else hearing you for the first time felt mortifying. After your boyfriend was done cry-laughing at your freeze response he greets you normally and reassures you if need be. A few weeks later things settle back to normal. You go about your daily lives and shower concerts when Ronin brings up an idea

“You ever thought about doing some stuff with the band?”

You thought about it for a bit. How it would be to have not just one person— but a whole group of people listening to you like that? You were unsure. Nonetheless you got dragged along to one the Slaughterhouses rehearsals and tried out something more the band’s style. It didn’t stick. You left feeling a little dejected to say the least. That was until the groups drummer — Misaki — sent you a post of a rock style orchestra. It seemed like a perfect match! The rock-ish nature of Slaughterhouse combined with your operatic singing brought something completely new the the performances.

Still, you were nervous about performing on stage, so you worked your way up to it. First you posted snippets of songs with the band. Then covers, then livestreams; and before you knew it you were up on stage like it was nothing! It was pure magic!

[yena-enha]

𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 (𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬)

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Warning - Angst, heartbreak, emotional damage, unrequited love, unresolved feelings, mentions of vomiting

Note - SFW CONTENT

Genre - Angst, Emotional Realism, Romance

Pairing - Ni-ki x Fem!Reader

Song Inspiration - "Love Scenario" by iKON

Word Count - 1.9k words

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You met Ni-ki in early spring, when the cherry blossoms hadn’t yet bloomed and the skies stayed gray. He stood in the middle of a crowded crosswalk, hood over his head, headphones in, completely oblivious to the world around him. And somehow, even then, your eyes found him.

And somehow, even then, he looked up and found you too.

---

It started small. A shared umbrella during an unexpected downpour. Late-night phone calls that stretched until sunrise. Fingers brushing too long when passing coffee. And then, suddenly, all at once—love.

You fell in love with Ni-ki the way most people learn to breathe. Naturally. Inevitably. Painfully, once you realized you wouldn’t know how to live without him.

He was your first in many ways. First love. First heartbreak. First time you truly believed someone could see all of you—and still choose to stay.

Until he couldn’t.

---

You gave him the bracelet the night before he flew to Tokyo.

It wasn’t fancy—just a black braided cord, handmade and clumsy, with a small silver plate you had carved his initials into. You’d pricked your fingers twice while making it. He never knew.

You handed it to him quietly, scared if you spoke too loudly, he’d vanish.

“I know it’s not much,” you mumbled. “But maybe when you wear it… you’ll think of me.”

Ni-ki had stared at it like it was made of gold. Like it was sacred.

He slipped it on and pulled you in, forehead resting against yours.

“I’ll think of you even when I’m not wearing it,” he promised. “You’re in everything now.”

You cried that night, in his arms, afraid of losing a future that hadn’t even begun.

---

A week later, your birthday arrived. You didn’t expect anything. Time zones and distance had already begun carving gaps in your conversations. But a small package arrived, with no note—just a necklace.

A thin gold chain. A single star pendant.

You FaceTimed him immediately, tears already burning your lashes.

“A star?” you asked softly.

Ni-ki smiled from across the world. He looked tired. Paler.

“Because you’re my constant,” he said. “No matter where I go… I’ll find my way back to you.”

---

But he didn’t.

Because love, you learned, wasn’t always enough.

Not when time demanded sacrifices. Not when dreams started pulling in opposite directions. Not when life hardened the softest parts of you.

You fought to keep it alive.

He tried too, in the beginning.

But one night, everything fell apart in the silence between words.

“I love you,” he said, brokenly. “I love you so much. But I can’t keep doing this. I’m not who you need right now.”

Your throat had clenched, heart pounding like it was trying to escape.

“I never asked you to be anything,” you whispered. “I just wanted you.”

He cried then. You could hear it over the line.

“I’m sorry.”

Then nothing.

Just a dial tone.

---

You wore the necklace every day after that. You didn’t take it off when you showered, or when you slept, or even when it tarnished over time.

People told you that you’d move on. That time heals everything. That someone new would come along.

But they didn’t understand.

You never fell out of love.

So how could you fall in love again?

---

Years passed.

You built a life. A small, quiet one. You wrote, you read, you worked a job that paid the bills but never lit your soul the way he had.

Every year, on your birthday, you touched the pendant and thought of him.

And every year, you wondered if he ever thought of you too.

---

Then came the wedding.

You weren’t invited, of course.

But mutual friends posted photos. They never meant harm—they just didn’t know.

He looked beautiful.

A crisp white suit. That same shy smile.

And beside him, the woman he chose.

You noticed two things immediately.

Her dress was perfect.

And his wrist was bare.

No bracelet.

You threw up in the bathroom that night and didn’t eat for three days.

---

You never married.

Not because no one wanted you—people tried. You even said yes once, just to see if your heart could pretend.

It couldn’t.

You called it off a month before the date, crying into the same pillow he once held you against.

Because how could you vow forever to someone else when a part of you still belonged to someone who let go?

---

Then, one Sunday in late autumn, you saw him again.

You were in a bookstore, your hands wrapped around a paperback you wouldn’t end up buying, when the doorbell chimed.

Ni-ki walked in like he hadn’t shattered you years ago.

And yet—your heart still fluttered.

He looked older. Taller. More grounded. But his eyes? Still held that same fire.

And when they found yours, they widened.

He walked over slowly, almost like he didn’t believe it was real.

“Hey,” he said, voice hoarse.

“Hi,” you whispered, the necklace suddenly heavy against your skin.

His eyes dropped to it instantly.

“You still wear it.”

“I never stopped,” you replied.

He exhaled shakily. “I looked for the bracelet. Before the wedding. I wanted to wear it.”

Your chest tightened. “Did you find it?”

He shook his head. “No. Maybe that was the point.”

You said nothing.

He did.

“I tried to forget you. I thought time would do that.”

“Did it?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

He looked at you—really looked at you. Then, almost too softly to hear:

“No.”

---

You walked through the city together after that.

He told you about his job. His travels. His quiet regrets. You told him about your apartment. Your writing. Your empty bed.

He didn’t mention his wife until you asked.

“She’s… kind,” he said. “Good to me. She deserves someone who loves her entirely.”

Your heart cracked.

“And you don’t?” you asked.

Ni-ki looked at you with eyes that had loved you once, and maybe still did.

“I don’t know how to love anyone the way I loved you.”

---

When the sky turned gold and the evening crept in, you stood beneath a streetlamp, like the universe had paused.

“In another life,” he said, voice trembling, “I would’ve stayed.”

You looked up at him. The boy you once loved. The man you still did.

And with every broken piece of yourself, you smiled.

“In another life,” you whispered, “I would’ve been enough.”

He reached for your hand but didn’t take it.

Instead, he stepped back.

And walked away.

Again.

---

You stood there long after he disappeared, the cold biting at your skin.

When you got home, you opened your jewelry box.

The necklace sat heavy against your collarbone.

You didn’t take it off.

You couldn’t.

Because some loves never leave you.

Some ghosts don’t fade.

And some hearts? They only ever belong to one person.

Even if that person never comes back.

Even if they marry someone else.

Even if the love becomes something quiet. Something sacred. Something that lives in silence and solitude.

You never married.

You never moved on.

Because your heart still whispered his name when the world got quiet.

Still ached when it rained.

Still reached for the boy who promised you the stars.

And even now—

Even years later—

You still loved him.

Not because he was perfect.

Not because he stayed.

But because he was almost everything.

And you were almost his.

Almost.

Always.

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«Masterlist || Introduction»

Taglist» @strxwbloody

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[quieticmoss]

Finally drew Goldfinch fan art! They are definitely my favorite duo

[clownhonkbonk]

something something... vampires.

zaya uthman, vampire hunter, nim thunderstruck, the polite vampire.

characters belong to @apleye from their awesome sauce comic!! go read. super good.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

More sketchy employee profile images. Mostly made to be able to replace the picrew I had in the template I made since I can draw. I did end up just putting it as back and white though but the color is just nice to have. I'm STILL trying to tweak the template since it is very finicky and there is an example of what it looks down below if you're interested. It is a lot. It will happen. I am just not the quickest

There are typos and inconsistencies I missed but in general it should be fine...

[disgustedorite]

I do need to state, for the record, that any characterization of me getting into comics to get to [redacted] is false.

In fact, he actually tried to get me into comics and gave me quite a few comic recs back in 2022.

[quietwingsinthesky]

See, the thing about the Amy episode that makes Dean’s actions so reprehensible is not only the part where he doesn’t trust Sam and goes behind his back to kill Amy or even the hypocrisy of Dean ‘you can’t change what you are so you’re going to kill someone eventually’ Winchester sparing the kid right after stabbing his mom, it’s that Amy is very explicitly supposed to be a Sam parallel. There is no other way about it, from the they’re both freaks part of it to Dean dropping the line about ‘the other shoe’ right before he kills her, she is Sam, how Dean reacts to her is supposed to give us insight into how he feels about Sam. And Dean. kills her.

The not very subtle subtext being that Dean is ready to off Sam if he goes too far off the deep end? He’s aggressive and mistrustful of Sam at every turn in the episode, lays the feet of it all at Sam’s hallucinations maybe leading him astray, but end of the day, Sam’s crimes here are A) was tortured in Hell and B) is traumatized by that in a way that makes Dean’s life more difficult.

And it is hard to watch. To spend this whole episode with Sam being completely functional on his own, making a rational decision based on past experience and on all the information about Amy he has available, and for the episode to end with, ‘but yeah, if dean thinks sam goes too far, he’s probably gonna kill him. because sam can’t change or be fixed, so it’s for the good of everyone that he be put down.’